Happy May! I have a long article for you so this will be short. I love this time of year with all of summer before us. Give yourself the gift of making the most of summer!
I have a BUNCH of awesome guests coming in to help the Magical Living community make the utmost of these next few months. Please check it out and join me LIVE with these wonderful people. It’s FREE! And fun.
Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Love for the Neurodivergent (and neuro-open!)
The neurodivergent heart loves with a uniqueness that traditional relationship advice simply doesn’t address.
After helping thousands heal from trauma and build authentic connections, I’m thrilled to welcome Rebeccah Silence to share her groundbreaking insights on neurodivergent relationships.
As the creator of The Practice of Emotional Healing and founder of Inspired Results, Rebeccah has cracked the code on turning what makes you different into what makes your relationships extraordinary.
If you’ve ever felt that conventional relationship “rules” just don’t work for you, this conversation will be transformative. Rebeccah reveals how safety, clarity, and room to breathe become the foundation for neurodivergent love to flourish.
Join us for the next Magical Living Open House with guest Rebeccah Silence hosted by Patricia Tallman to discover how your unique way of processing emotions and experiences isn’t a barrier to connection—it’s the key to a more authentic, powerful kind of love.
Join us on Saturday May 31st at 10am PDT. It’s FREE! Register here to join us today!
Magical Living Open Houses
May 31st Saturday 10am PT – Rebeccah Silence “Romantic Relationships for the Neurodivergent” Register Here!
June 8th Sunday 10am PT – Kimberly Crowe “Speaking on Stages” Register Here!
July 15th Tuesday 10 am PT – Ashley Mansour “Creating your character backstory” (Registration link coming soon!)
Your Morning Motivation
This section will be a thought to help you set yourself up for a more purposeful day. It can be a very simple thing to add a bit of focused intention to your day.
How to use this section:
- Pick one thing to focus on today. I’ll make a suggestion below, but it can be whatever is right for you.
- Write it down somewhere you’ll see it several times a day. Bonus if you add in why you chose it and how it will make a change in your day/life.
- Set a timer on your phone, 4x today to look at your intention.
- At the end of the day write down how it went, what did you notice, and what you might want to try tomorrow.
“There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”
— Amanda Gorman
Today I will look for where I can be a bit of bright light in the world.
Article of the Month
Do you still struggle with feeling miserable, sad, or stuck? So many of us do! There are some things that are SOOOO very common but they actually cause us to suffer more than we need to!
Read these and then pop into the Magical Living community and get some clarity and support about the one you want to change! Not yet a member? Click here to join!
Daily habits that are causing you pain:
#1. Scrolling
YES. Social media. It causes you to flip into judgement, comparison, and ravages your self worth. Plus, no matter how focused you start out, it’s way too easy to slip into doomscrolling. Doomscrolling is when you actively seek out negative material to read. I know you feel you need to protect and inform yourself about what’s going on. However, in my experience any amount of scrolling can soon turn to doomscrolling. The irony is, you don’t feel informed or protected at all, just more scared and overwhelmed.
How to stop scrolling:
Set a timer for how long you will check your socials.
Limit the accounts you check.
Pay attention as to how you are feeling and if you are indulging your Fear Dragon.
Have alternatives to scrolling! A favorite book, call a friend, send someone a supportive text.
#2. Creating drama!
Yeah, sad to say but we all can slip into creating drama even if you’re not on the stage! Humans want to stay safe. Somewhere along the way you learned to try to anticipate problems. While this can be a helpful tactic in practical planning, it’s gotten you into trouble personally.
Remember: You are not a telepath. You cannot read minds. Don’t create drama by trying to. Stay in your integrity and leave other people to their own reactions. You cannot control them.
Stay in your own business! People deserve to live their own lives and learn their own lessons. No, it’s not virtuous to solve their problems for them. You are robbing them of their own experience, lessons and to walk their own path.
Use all that energy to go towards your own goals and develop your own life. If you don’t know what you want, you have been living in other people’s business to avoid your own. The good news is now your whole life can open up!
This brings us to…
#3. People Pleasing
As a world class people pleaser I know about this one. It’s a huge step to stop doing this. It will bring you back to your authentic self and your inborn courage. We started doing this to get the approval of the adults around us, to keep our baby selves safe and basking in the glow of approval. While doing things for others is a nice thing to do, if you are doing that rather than what you need to do for your own growth, you are actually disappointing yourself. You are losing self worth and diminishing yourself every time you interact this way. If you are struggling with self worth or self esteem, this could be a big part of that. You are ‘doing’ for others.
Check your motivations. BE VERY HONEST. Are you doing this so they will like and approve of you? So they will like you, include you, pay for things for you, protect you…?
What do you get from the pleasing part? The most painful part of this habit may be the dishonesty of saying one thing and thinking another. Also notice who may be taking advantage of your need to please. This reminds me of the saying, “The only people upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.”
How to change this habit:
Identify how you feel when you please someone else. Do you eventually feel resentful or exhausted? Are you outwardly happy about doing something for someone else and upset on the inside? Next, set boundaries to protect your time and energy especially with the people who don’t respect your time and energy. Practice saying no, even when you aren’t busy doing other things. Then, start replacing your ‘people pleasing’ with a daily simple pleasure to nurture your time and energy so you can be more thoughtful about how and when you give it away.
This is a big topic! Let me know if you want to go deeper.
#4. Projecting your fears onto others
This is a habit born out of being fearful yourself. It’s a great way to check in with your own experience.
Again, people deserve to have their own life. They may have a completely different experience than you! They may need to do something to learn a new skill, meet someone or find a teacher/mentor. It’s none of your beeswax! (We are not talking about dependent children, only adult age people).
Don’t take other people’s choices personally. I know that can be hard but just don’t let yourself go there. Instead, practice celebrating and lifting other people up instead of weighing them down with the fears you may carry from your experience. Then, consider how you can share potential pitfalls and, if asked, share your own experience. ONLY IF ASKED. Always be supportive.
Watch what you say. If it’s a negative story, stop your mouth.
For example, while I was pregnant, I cannot tell you how often people just had to share horrible birth stories with me. I mean WTF? Why would you do that to someone?
If you cannot share something supportive directly related to their experience, support THEM. Cheer them on!
The last habit to change I’ll share today is
#5. Being stuck in Regret
It’s one thing to want to learn from your choices and do better, but reliving it over and over robs you of the present moment. Don’t let this take up any more space in your life! Deal with it and fly free.
If you are spiraling, getting lost in these emotions of guilt or regret, dump it out in a journal. Writing it out is magic. It will help you to transform this helpless feeling into something tangible, and you can do something about that.
If you need to make an amends, cool. Now you know what you need to do to let this go.
If you need to forgive yourself or someone else, I have a whole workshop on that. Let me know and we can pull it out.
But don’t let this suck any more time out of your life.
I KNOW you can have a life that just feels magical. You deserve it.
It takes conscious effort and change. But it’s NOT CRAZY HARD. It will be uncomfortable. But you can get used to that. Success lies on the other side of that discomfort. People who grow in their lives become familiar with the sensations of discomfort!
It’s just a feeling and it lets you know that you are getting somewhere!
Let me know which one you want to change and let’s get cracking!
Cheering you on!
Our Quest Travel Adventures
Glenn and I are housesitting in Hawai’i for several months. It’s been such a relief for my body to be here on the Big Island and just rest. While I feel so alive when traveling, I thrive here in Hawaii. We are in a classic Hawaiian 1930s bungalow on the rainy side of the island, Hilo. I have my own writing and work space that I share with a Day Gecko I named Frodo. He roams around the office and bedroom freely. I’ve gotten to know his routines. He keeps me company during the sometimes hard work of the day.
The Big Island of Hawai’i is a very special place. We have an active volcano, Kilauea, that loves to surprise us with episodes of shooting lava. Mauna Loa is active too but she is just smoking these days.
A couple of weeks ago, a photographer friend of ours posted into our friends group chat that there was another episode of shooting lava starting up at Halemaʻumaʻu crater within the summit caldera, Kaluapele. Kilauea began this series of activities, known as ‘episodes’ on December 23, 2024. There have now been 22 episodes separated by indeterminate pauses in activity and there’s no way to know exactly when the next one will happen, or how big it will be!
So we gathered our gear and headed up to Volcano National Park, about 45 minutes away. The area was crowded and parking was allowed along the sides of the roads which I thought was pretty cool of the park. One tired ranger waved us along to find our best spot to park my old Honda CRV.
Warren, our photographer friend, texted us to have on rain gear and dress warmly. The summit gets cold, and it is a rainforest up there! Sure enough, it was pouring most of the drive up, but by the time we found parking, it had stopped. I wore my rain gear as protection from the wind; it was howling!
We walked almost 2 miles from the parking spot, along the ruined road Kilauea had destroyed in 2018, to reach Warren on a ridge allotted for visitor safe viewing. Long before we reached the ridge, I heard a roaring like an angry ocean crashing against a rocky shore. I asked Glenn, what is that? Do you think it’s the volcano?
We were looking at each other wide eyed. I have never heard that sound before.
And then the trees grew sparsely along the shattered road and we saw a red light fiercely glowing, lighting the underside of clouds that had stopped raining.
Whoa.
Another few minutes and we could see the fountaining of the lava. I was speechless! The sheer force and violence of it was overwhelming. The roaring.
None of the photos or videos could prepare you for being in the presence of an active volcano, birthing new land.
Well, it was Mother’s Day weekend.
There is a holy feeling to it. Something so primal there are no words. This was built into our DNA, since the earth’s beginnings.
People gathered and just sat and watched in awe, for hours. There wasn’t a lot of chatter in this spot, mainly full of photographers.
The other lookout had the main crush of tourists who in their rush to get their family photo or Instagram posts missed the emotion and significance entirely.
That’s ok. It’s not my way, but to each their own. But I was glad not to be among them.
Glenn and I did take some photos, and Warren grabbed one of the 2 of us. But mostly we sat there, for 3 hours on the cold lava ridge watching molten lava spew over 500 feet into the air. The caldera was a lake of flowing glowing yellow and red, and there were even lava falls! Red and black flowing over hardened lava ridges down into the deeper lava lake that spread out over 3 miles long and 2 miles wide!
Simply incredible.
I’ll share some images here but if you can, check out the YouTube videos on the internet!
Warren’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warrenfintz/
Journal Prompt
(Each month I will give you a thought to fire up your mind. Use journaling prompts over and over again and see how the result changes.)
Where do I take things personally?
Whatever happens around me, I don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of me. It is because of themselves. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.
“Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing….When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do.”
~The Four Agreements, a set of guidelines for living a more fulfilling life, by Don Miguel Ruiz.
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Become a Talisman Apprentice!
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If you are interested in chats, games, sci-fi, and a bit of personal development, actor and stuntwoman Patricia Tallman invites you to Join our Magical Living Community!
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Love,
Patricia, founder of Magical Living
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